


The Before and After

by goingtothetardis



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Discovery of old photographs, Donna finds photographs of the Doctor and Rose before he lost her, Donna introspection, F/M, Gen, Introspection, Prompt Fic, donna pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/pseuds/goingtothetardis
Summary: While exploring a room on the TARDIS, Donna discovers a folder of photographs that show her a Doctor she's never known.





	The Before and After

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kelkat9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/gifts).



> Kelkat9 prompted: "Finding old photographs you'd forgotten" with Doctor/Rose. I probably took this a very different direction than what you expected, but I hope you enjoy it! Once I started this, I just couldn't stop!
> 
> I have no plans to continue this story, so feel free to let your imaginations run wild. It was fun to write the Doctor and Rose in this way. :)
> 
> Unbeta'd.

Donna squeezes herself through a narrow gap of stacked sofas in the wondrous room she’s only just discovered on the TARDIS. She’d been wandering about the corridors, searching for the (most likely) brooding Doctor, when the door to this room had appeared out of nowhere. 

Without hesitation, she’d pushed open the door and had found herself in a room rivaling the Room of Requirement from Harry Potter. It’s filled wall to wall and floor to ceiling with what she imagines is several lifetimes worth of  _ stuff,  _ things accumulated by the Doctor in all his many lives.

There’s no rhyme or reason to the items in this room, as discarded furniture is intermixed with various bric a brac, high-tech alien devices, and random pieces of clothing. A long, multi-colored scarf wraps around a broken coat rack, questionable umbrellas hang from a string of fairy lights, and she’d just walked past a green, velvet coat draped neatly on the back of a tall chair. Among countless other things. 

After an indeterminable amount of aimless meandering, Donna discovers an ancient desk tucked between a scooter and a hot air balloon basket. It’s covered in stacks of books with familiar circular symbols she’s seen all over the TARDIS. A stuffed raccoon sits precariously on the top shelf in the corner, and she eyes it suspiciously, muttering about alien pillocks and daft collectable items. 

She’s about to continue her exploration, but a half-opened drawer pulls her attention back to the desk. Curious, she pulls the drawer open and discovers a bulging folder sitting on top of several notebooks. 

After a moment’s hesitation, Donna picks up the folder and opens it, gasping when she finds a stack of photographs, some of which feature the Doctor she knows. However, the Doctor in the pictures looks nothing like the Doctor she travels and lives with. No, the Doctor in the photographs knows how to smile with his whole body and exudes a carefree exuberance she’s seen only rarely, if at all, in all the time they’ve traveled together. 

Standing close to the Doctor in most of the photographs is a woman Donna instinctively knows is the mystery Rose. The two of them are drawn to each other like magnets, and they smile at each other like the other is the star around which to orbit. 

Donna marvels at the blatant physical affection between the two in every picture: hips touching, arms around each other, holding hands, smiling so brightly at each other there’s no need for light. They’re so disgustingly happy and nauseating that Donna’s throat tightens with emotion when she realizes how devastating the loss of Rose had been to the Doctor. 

She continues to flip through the photographs, pausing now and then to admire the candid joy of Rose’s head thrown back in laughter or to smirk at the Doctor’s gigantic bleeding heart eyes as he stares at Rose, his adoration for this woman written all over his face for the universe to see.

Donna frowns in confusion when the skinny suited Doctor is replaced with another man, a tall, broad shouldered one wearing a black leather jacket and maroon jumper. This man stares at Rose with the same sort of adoration, and Rose at him, but…  _ Oh. _

Rose must have traveled with two versions of the Doctor. Donna studies the older Doctor and Rose together and notes very little difference in their poses and interactions. Rose presses herself into the Doctor’s side, melding herself to him as though that’s the only place in the universe she belongs. Donna wouldn’t dare argue that point.

This older Doctor is unconventionally gorgeous, even she has to admit that, and his ice-blue eyes pierce Rose with unspoken emotion that make tears prick at the corner of her eyes.

In many of the photographs, the Doctor and Rose are joined with a variety of other people. There’s a blond woman in pink and blue tracksuits, and Donna wonders if it’s Rose’s mother. How utterly domestic of the Doctor, she thinks, as her mouth curves up in a smile. There’s a young black man the Doctor scowls at in one photograph, as well as a rather tasty looking bloke with a dazzling smile who the Doctor all but glares at as he wraps his arm possessively around Rose. 

_ Captain Jack making the Doctor jealous _ , is scribbled on the back of that one. 

_ A jealous Doctor. _ Donna has trouble wrapping her mind around the concept, as she’s only ever seen the Doctor vaguely repulsed when anyone, regardless of gender, has shown him interest.

At the bottom of the pile are two pictures that take Donna’s breath away. In both pictures, the Doctor and Rose are dancing, but each image features a different Doctor. Both candid photographs, the first features a Doctor and Rose in the middle of a twirl with huge, beaming grins on their faces. Both exude unbridled joy in the moment, a moment that is theirs and theirs alone, captured by a mystery photographer for eternity. The second photograph suggests a more intimate relationship between the two, as they are caught in the middle of a slow dance, gazing into each other’s eyes. The emotion shared in this moment is profound, and Donna fleetingly wonders if anyone will ever look at her the way the Doctor looks at Rose.

Donna’s breath catches as considers more thoroughly the Doctor’s loss, and tears trail down her cheeks. She wipes them away with her sleeve, and with one last glance at the photographs, carefully tucks them back inside the folder and returns them to the drawer. She feels as though she finally understands the Doctor in a way she never did before. 

It’s obvious he’d loved –  _ still _ loves – Rose with a breathtaking intensity and that her loss had utterly wrecked him. The most casual observation of the before and after would tell anyone that. She knows the Doctor hasn’t recovered, and his reckless abandon with each adventure shows her there’s a dark side to him that threatens to pull him under and never let go. There’s a certain madness that lurks just under the surface, and she vaguely wonders what would happen if the Doctor traveled alone, if she (or anyone else) weren’t there to stop him from lashing out in grief and anger. 

Donna shivers, having had a taste of the Doctor’s dark madness below London. 

Shaking free of those depressing thoughts, Donna wonders if there’s anything she can do to help the Doctor find his way back to Rose. Even if it meant she’d get kicked off the TARDIS upon Rose’s return, she knows she can’t let the Doctor continue on like this, a shell of his former self. 

Donna intends to walk away from the photos, but after a few steps, she stops and turns, gazing speculatively at the drawer. She plucks the folder of precious photographs out, carefully guarding the edges to make sure none are lost, and walks away from the desk with her mind set. 

She’s going to help the Doctor and Rose get back together if it’s the last thing she does, and maybe the pictures will give her some clues on how to do that. Buoyed by excitement, Donna rushes through the maze of things toward the door and back to the rest of the TARDIS.   
  


**Author's Note:**

> Find me at goingtothetardis.tumblr.com!


End file.
